The True Worth of a Woman, Part 2

On Thursday, March 1st, 2018, ten people—6 soldiers and 4 policemen—were found murdered by Boko Haram in the governmental headquarters of Rann, Nigeria, after suffering an attack perpetrated by Boko Haram. According to reports, two female humanitarian aid workers were kidnapped1 (though some reports say three2). Because of the warfare, MSF (Doctors Without Borders, aka Médecins Sans Frontières) decided to leave the location for the time being, until the attack had ceased and aid workers were not directly in harm’s way. Please keep these women, their families, and the families of those who passed away in this attack in your prayers.

The selflessness of these female aid workers is a virtue that all women could aspire to. Selfless and brave, these women were made the victims of this ferocious attack… and it brings up the question, “What does a noble woman truly look like?”

These women can reflect a part of that answer; but, to see a virtuous woman in her fullness, we can read Proverbs 31. I know, I know… for many women, this passage of scripture can bring them both awe and discouragement all at the same time. But, in this post, with already reading about and knowing that a woman’s true worth and identity is found in Jesus Christ, I thought it would be practical—and hopefully, encouraging!—for us to study how this woman “who fears the Lord” lives, and what she truly prioritizes (Proverbs 31:30). It’s a little lengthy, but I pray that whatever you do read of it will strengthen you.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

First off, I find it interesting that this description of “The Wife of Noble Character” is parked at the very end of Proverbs, a book known for its Godly wisdom. In Proverbs, “Lady Wisdom” is sought as incredibly valuable (Proverbs 8:11), and it is honestly so affirming that God’s Word speaks of what a wise, God-fearing woman looks like; Christ truly does care about who we are, not only as people, but specifically as women; and He cares about what we do to show who we are.

This being said, I also want to say one thing: Girls, we are going to fail at being “the Wife of Noble Character.” Big time. It’s easy for me to look at this passage and feel overwhelmed at how perfect this woman is, but honestly, our value is not found in if we are the wife of noble character or not. Our worth is placed in Jesus alone, His death, and His resurrection. As many other commentators have said, cannot be everything that this woman is simultaneously; rather, it is a goal, one that we will be growing toward (and shying away from) our entire .jpg

Whoever you are, take a deep breath, and allow God’s Word to speak to you.

Proverbs 31:10-12

A woman of God—who knows Jesus Christ personally, and walks with Him daily—is an incredible blessing to any Godly man seeking a wife. This woman, who loves Jesus and is daily enjoying a personal relationship with Him, is described as having the full confidence of her husband, bringing him good, not evil, all the days of her life. Women, make Jesus—spending time with Him, walking in His ways, and being rooted in His Word—the foundation of your life. The more you know and understand Christ’s Love, and the more you are filled with the Holy Spirit, the better you will be at being wise, faithful, and loving towards those around you—including your husband (even if you don’t have one yet!).

Proverbs 31:13-15, 21, 27

She’s sacrificial. As an outpouring of Christ’s Love in her life, the wife of Noble Character makes caring for all those within her household—even at the sacrifice of getting up early to do so—a high priority. This woman’s mind, because of her relationship with Jesus, is on how she can best love the people around her— which is, in this context, her husband, children, and even her “female servants.” She is not up and running around because she has to be; at her core, she is showing sacrificial Love because she knows that that is how God, in Christ, Loves her.

Proverbs 31:16-19, 24, 26

She’s wise and hardworking. Notice how this Wife of Noble Character is not strictly a “stay at home mom”; while this is definitely a role she plays, she also has incredibly important roles outside of the house. Contrary to what many Christian leaders have said about women basically being second-class citizens (citing Genesis 2:18, which I expanded upon, here), 1 Corinthians 11:1-16 supports the idea that, in Christ, women are different from—but not inferior to—men. The woman found in Proverbs 31, knowing that she and those around her are all equal in Christ, uses her God-given brain, hands, and talents to make wise, resourceful business decisions.

More than this, this wife of noble character doesn’t just use her talents for her own profit; she uses all that she is to bring glory to God. This can be seen, perhaps most obviously, in verse 20.

“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” (Proverbs 31:20, NIV)

She’s generous. This woman, again filled with the Love of God and daily walking in a personal relationship with Him, values those that society marginalizes. As a woman within the historical context of Ancient Israel, women themselves were usually marginalized and limited3. With this fact in mind, the idea of this woman, who is both business-savvy and generous toward the poor and needy, is one that was very against the “mainstream” culture of the day. Though society limited women greatly—and still does, today—God sees women as made in His Image, just as capable as men in Christ to be lovingly generous to all those around, especially the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:25

She’s full of Life. This one can be hard to read, especially for those of you who have suffered for what seems like forever, in whatever situation you are in. But instead of having this verse discourage you, I want to encourage with its Truth: that, in Christ alone, there is always Hope.

Perhaps, at this point, you are hanging on by a thread. Everything and everyone has been stripped from you; you can’t seem to get your bearings on where you are at right now, much less look forward to the future. Your way feels dark. Your past haunts you. You are heavy with grief and an endless amount of questions.

Sister, despite what everything around you is saying, I want to encourage you to cling to the truth– the Hope– of Scripture. This verse does not say that the wife of noble SHE LAUGHS.jpgcharacter has a wonderful life; the Bible tells it like it is. Yet, it describes this woman as “clothed with strength and dignity,” and “being able to laugh at the days to come.” What is the source of this woman’s strength, dignity, and joyful outlook on life?

The fact that God has never, and will never, leave her. And that, no matter what has happened, what is happening, or what will occur, He Loves her, and is completely in charge of every day of her life.

The Worth of a Godly Woman

This noble woman is not merely beautiful on the outside (though her beauty is of at least some interest to her– Proverbs 31:22). She is a woman saved by Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection; a woman grounded in the Love of Jesus—a precious treasure, beautiful inside and out, always becoming more like Christ as she follows Him, day by day.

Women are a reflection of who God is—proving that He is a God who Loves true beauty; a God who is concerned with the intimate details of His childrens’ lives; a God who is compassionate, empathetic, and nurturing, always providing for those He Loves. As you look at the women around you, today (including yourself, if you are a woman), praise Jesus for them. See their true worth, in His eyes.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
(Proverbs 31:28-31, NIV)

Do you know Jesus?

The woman of noble character did not become noble by merely doing everything she is described doing; she did not come to God, all cleaned up because of her own efforts. Instead, she only needed to come as she was, allowing Christ to change her, from the inside out.

Learn more about this God—who Loves us as we are, and does not leave us that way—here.

Please pray for (get your prayer sheet, here)…

  • Women in Northern Nigeria. Pray that these beautiful people would come to know Christ, and that much would be done to improve their situation.
  • “The Dapchi girls.” 110 young women were kidnapped February 19th, 2018; please pray that they come home, soon.
  • “The Chibok girls.” Please pray that the 112 young women still missing would be freed, soon.
  • For the salvation of all people. Only when Christ is the Lord and Savior of a person’s life, will all women be seen and treated with real dignity, respect, and love.


How have you treated women? Is it with God-given dignity and love (This includes yourself if you are a woman)? In what ways do you need to grow to be more like Christ—and the wife of noble character? Ask Jesus to cleanse your heart of any sin, and allow Him to work and move in your life in powerful ways.


Thank you for your prayers!




On Envy & Bitterness

Proverbs 13:12 wisely says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Oh, how true this is, in so many ways. I think we all know the feeling of wanting something so much—and then having it removed from our grasp, held just inches away from us as we strive and stretch for it with all of our might. As we stare at this Hope we have had, just outside of our reach, our hearts adopt a feeling of deep, deep grief. It threatens to consume us whole; and we seemingly cannot help but nurse the ache within us.

So much of this is unfortunately true for the Chibok girls, and those like them—people who have had their freedom, happiness, and lives as free men ripped away from them.  The Humanitarian Aid Group “Doctors Without Borders” had to leave the area in Rann, Nigeria, because of Boko Haram terrorism, temporarily leaving desperate families in the region without aid.1 It has been two weeks since the Dapchi girls were kidnapped by Boko Haram2; meanwhile, the Chibok girls who have been found/freed are facing extreme stigma and obstacles to reintegrating into society3. These young women represent thousands of other people kidnapped and harmed by Boko Haram: people who are being failed by their own government, and people who are being mercilessly kicked while they are down.

Is there no respite for these people? Is there no Justice, no relief, no refuge for these victims of such brazen crimes?

It’s easy, under these circumstances, to fall into hatred, resentment, and bitterness about the failures of those around these people. Having a hope deferred is something that is not foreign to me. I know full well that, out of having a Hope deferred, resentment and even envy can rise up within my own heart towards those who seem to have the very thing I feel I need—and I would venture to say that this is a common, human problem (at least, I hope it is!).

Though, no matter how common or understandable this phenomenon of resentment & envy may be, it does not take away the truth that it is evil and sinful. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud” (v. 4). While jealousy and envy are not the same thing, they go hand in hand. Jealousy, wrath, and anger are three very harmful things (Proverbs 27:4). Envy is the result of idolatry in our hearts; it’s for this reason that God forbids us to “covet” in the ten commandments (Exodus 20:17).

What’s more, we believe that if we hang on to resentment, we are holding whatever/whomever has caused us pain hostage until “they pay up.” This is a lie that only keeps us in a place of bitter pain—and causes much more bitter pain for others. “Hurt people hurt people,” as the old adage says.

How to Overcome It

We all get it. Jealousy and envy are bad, and incredibly damaging to our souls, lives, relationships, and most importantly, our relationship with God. But, as Proverbs 27 expresses, it can seem unescapable and consuming. How can one fully honor and obey Christ, even when everything within them screams no?!

Truthfully, the lie of envy and resentment usually (if not always) says, “God is not good,” and, at times concerning envy, “He is holding out on me.” These two lies are the source of all anger, resentment, and envy. But, when we come and surrender to Christ, He is the One who changes our desires where necessary, and helps us through.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7, NIV)

I admit that I just said about Christ helping us through sounds very trite. Yet, it is nonetheless true. When we feel alone, it is Christ who says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5-6) [source]. When we feel we are in lack of something, it is in turning to Jesus that we are reminded, “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing (Psalm 23:1, NIV).

When we come to Christ with our resentment– with how we honestly feel that He is holding out on us– Jesus breaks down this lie– and free us from the resentment, anger, and disappointment we may poignantly feel. It is Jesus’ Will not that we stay locked up in a bitter, envious, angry darkness that “rots the bones,” as Proverbs 14:30 says; but that we come to the Light, to Him for healing. It is there that we will receive His counsel, His rebuke where necessary, and His comforting strength that points to our idolatry and heals the deeper, harmful lie we have been holding on to in our heart of hearts. It is this place that Jesus wants to heal and bring restoration to—even if the only way for it to ever come up is to recognize our intense bitterness.

It’s true. This world is full of evil; and, as such, hurt and broken people can become very bitter and resentful toward whatever has caused them their pain, even becoming bitter toward life itself.

The people, especially the women, of Northern Nigeria, have a lot to resent and become bitter over. They have seemingly been left alone, unaided, shamed and stigmatized for something that was never their fault to begin with.

But we all know that nursing bitterness and envy only creates a vicious cycle of violence and decay, in every sense of the word. So, may these women, in their desperation and pain, come to Jesus for healing only He can provide. May we all.

Do you know Jesus?

God said to Joshua in Joshua 1:5, “No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.”

Do you want God to be with you—to never leave or forsake you? It’s true that God is omnipotent; and therefore, He is always with us. But it is a different matter to know Jesus personally—and to know that He will never, ever leave you, no matter what.

Learn more about Jesus—this God who wants to have a personal relationship with you, personally—here.

Please pray for (print out a Prayer sheet, here)…

  • The Dapchi girls. Just like the Chibok girls, these 110 young women were kidnapped two weeks ago from Dapchi, Nigeria. Please pray for them to be rescued and freed, soon.
  • The Chibok girls. Please pray for their soon return!
  • For the Chibok girls, and other girls kidnapped by Boko Haram, struggling to be reintegrated back into society. Pray that walls would be broken, and that Jesus would bring these young women to Himself, and that they would experience liberation.
  • That “Doctors without Borders” would be able to return to Northern Nigeria, especially Rann, to continue to give humanitarian aid to those who are desperate.
  • That those who resent others in their lives would find freedom in forgiveness, as they bring it to Christ.
  • Reflect: Where are you harboring envy, jealousy, or resentment? Submit to Jesus and ask Him to heal those parts of your life, today.

Thank you for your prayers